Mrs Lighty is never really one to big herself up over anything. I’d rather make a joke out of myself than say that I’m good at something, and I’ll always poke fun out of myself when it comes to something that I really don’t know anything about. I know I’m hard on myself, but I guess that in many a way, I’d rather be hard on myself than have others do it for me.
Having a lack of confidence often goes hand in hand with anxiety. If I say that I’m rubbish at something, I’m getting in there first before I can worry that someone else can point it out for me. Because that will inevitably make me feel worse, right? I’m honest, too; I’ll admit when I don’t know something, or don’t feel up to doing something, rather than have someone make me feel stupid when I attempt it.
So what does all of this have to do with the blog? In all honesty, I’m not sure. I’m not sure I want to be putting myself out there like this, that’s for sure. But because this blog started with its roots firmly planted in the anxiety of new motherhood, I feel that nearly two years down the line, I ought to push myself and say that I’m proud of this little corner of the internet that I’ve created.You see, if you’ve ever had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), you may well have been advised to keep a positivity journal. A little notebook, where you can squirrel away all of the things you’re proud to have achieved. From praise at work through to owning your own house; from making someone laugh through to bring a great friend.
And for me, that little positivity journal is All Things Spliced.
This is where I record all of the things that I’m proud of. And the thing that I’m most proud of is Baby Lighty, of course. I’m drafting his second birthday post at the moment, and I’ve loved looking back over the past year. Thinking about all that he’s achieved, smiling at his little quirks.
I probably shouldn’t admit this, but every now and then I’ll read back over an old post. Maybe one I’d forgotten about, or just one that I’m proud of, and I’ll smile at the memories. I’ll remember things I’ve forgotten – things that were huge at the time but now seem insignificant – and I’ll be transported back to that moment. The memories, the sights, the smells (some not so pleasant of course!) and, all too often, the soundtrack of the Jumperoo to accompany it. And then I’ll remember the laughter, the smiles, the wonder and the love.
I know I’m getting soppy. I can feel it. And I know there are times when All Things Spliced isn’t all sweetness and light, too. But it is always real. Real life could be the embarrassing-but-now-funny parenting law of sod moment of a newborn Baby Lighty weeing in the scales at the health visitor’s office. Or it could be the time when my toddler was a complete diva, but a gorgeous one, at a photoshoot. Or perhaps it’s those really tough days, the ones that make us want to hide on the sofa with a boxset and social media and not Mummy at all. And then there are all of the little every day happenings in between. The Lightys have lived through all of these moments.
I look back at this blog now, that was born when Baby Lighty was just seven weeks old, and for once, I can big myself up. Just a little. For I can say to the Mrs Lighty of two years ago, “You will do good, Mrs Lighty. Even if you do come out of it with a few more grey hairs, feeling a lot more tired, and covered in regurgitated milk, you will do good. Because your happy, funny, quirky little boy will be proof of that.”
So what does this have to do with the blog?! Well, if you follow me on social media, you may have seen one of maybe two posts about a little award that I won last week (ahem! Apologies for the awards spam!!). I can’t quite believe it, but I’m proud to say that you’re currently reading a silver-award winning blogger at the Essex Digital Awards! I didn’t dare enter the EDAs to begin with, as I didn’t feel good enough, but I was nudged just a little by my ever-encouraging boss. And then I didn’t dare hope that I’d get to the finals, but I did. And I certainly didn’t dare to think that I’d win anything, let alone take away the silver, but I did!It’s awards season in blogging land, and from all of the above you may have gathered that I wouldn’t normally put myself out there with things like this. But, if I’m proud of this positivity journal that I’ve created, and on the back of my Essex Digital Awards success, I’ve got to give myself at least a sporting chance. You’ve got to be in it to win it, right?!
I hope that if you read my blog regularly, I may have given you all a bit of a giggle from time to time, and maybe the odd tear or two, for which I apologise! I’ve loved writing this happy place of mine. If you have enjoyed reading it, us Lightys would be ever so grateful if you could give us a little nomination in this year’s BritMums’ Brilliance in Blogging Awards. If you have enjoyed immersing yourself in my happy place as much as I have, please nominate Mrs Lighty for the Reader’s Choice award by clicking on the badge below:
Thank you lovely readers for your continued support. It really does mean so much to me that so many of you are enjoying my happy place as much as I am!
Proud to be linking up with: