“What has he done with that Sausage?!” Ridiculous Things I Never thought I’d say, Part 3!

Back by popular demand (ok, one request from the lovely Dawn at Rhyming with Wine to make it into a series!) this is the third instalment of the ridiculous things I never thought I’d say. Honestly, both times that I’ve published this series before, I’ve thought, “that’s it now, surely there is not enough funny material to make up another blog post?!”. Well, guess what? Turns out there is, and not only that, but as Baby Lighty’s own vocabulary and personality develops, the things I say seem to be getting more and more ridiculous. It’s a very weird thing, this parenting gig!

This time it all started with a sausage. A sausage that went missing. How do you lose a sausage? Well you’ll have to ask Baby Lighty for the answer to that one. Perhaps he might even answer you in the same totally understandable, non-gobbledegook way that he answers me regularly. Indeed, to many of the ridiculous things tha I’ve said recently, as per below:

  • “What has he done with that sausage? Has he dropped it between your legs?”
  • “I’ve just written in this thank you card “I love to bash the balls with the hammer!””
  • “Do the froggies wiggle their bums?!”
  • “According to Daddy, the crocodile is Jim Carey!”
  • “We did 10 rounds of the Hokey Cokey before nap time.”
  • “Come on dinosaur, I need you to pull my sleigh!”
  • “Look, his face is all shiny where he’s rubbed that pesto round it!”
  • “Tickle teeth, tickle teeth, tickle teeth!”
  • “[Baby Lighty’s] started a disco in the washing machine!”
Ridiculous things I never thought I'd say...

The disco in the washing machine…

  • “No, no, no. Special Delivery Service is a completely different service that [Postman] Pat offers. Special Delivery service involves a badge, a ringtone and sometimes a helicopter!!”
  • “I’m gonna wash that chocolate right outta your hair, I’m gonna wash that chocolate right outta your hair, and send it on its way!”
  • “No, no more jumping on Mummy’s head please!”
  • “Stop licking the TV!”
  • “An egg. Not eye. Unless you’re German, in which case Ei would be correct…”
  • “What are we doing? Oh we’re just sitting with a Lego box on our head, are we?!”
  • “Oh no, you’ve flung potato in my tea! Now I’ve got to drink it with potato in!”
Ridiculous things I never thought I'd say...

According to Twitter, it would seem that other parents share my tea pain…

  • “Stop waving your buns in the air!”
  • “Did the crocodile pinch your tambourine?!”
  • “You’ve just encouraged him to put a bread roll in his hair.”
  • “What has he done with that sausage? Are you sure you haven’t got it? He came over towards you with it so it must be in your vicinity!”
  • “Oh that’s clever. You’ve put all of the food inside the fence! Now none of it can escape!!”
  • “That goes in the fridge with Mummy.”
  • “Mr Bloom just popped up in the middle of my work!”
  • “We’re not doing naked cooking! We are not Jamie Oliver!!”
  • “Step out of the box if you want to dance!”
  • “Don’t sweep the floor with my hairbrush!”
  • “You’re losing your bricks!”

And finally:

  • “Oh. There’s that sausage.”

I shall leave it down to your imagination as to where Mrs Lighty found that sausage…!

See you again soon for another instalment of Mrs Lighty’s ridiculous life!!

If you’d like to read more of the ridiculous things Mr and Mrs Lighty say on a regular basis, you can find part one of this series here, and part two here.

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20 thoughts on ““What has he done with that Sausage?!” Ridiculous Things I Never thought I’d say, Part 3!

  1. All of the hurrays and the chortles for this brilliant series! Thank you so much for humouring me! (I am such a demanding friend haha.) I would actually quite like it if Mr Bloom popped up in my work but that’s perhaps a different post! 😉 You are hilarious. The things these tots make us say are just crazy! I was recently said the sentence: “Have you chocolated your turtle?” I mean honestly!? Love it Mrs L! Xx

    1. Let’s just say I wasn’t complaining that Mr Bloom popped up in the middle of my work!! 😉 Definitely a post for another day!! Haha, loving the use of the word ‘chocolate’ as a verb!! I’ll start writing the next one for you tomorrow lovely friend…! xxx

    1. Haha!! Sorry!! Although I’m glad that it made you laugh!! Thanks so much for stopping by, I’m already working on part four!! #fortheloveofBLOG

  2. Haha! Excellent. I love how things sound so normal in context like when you’re playing jungles and Tinky Winky squashes the parrot (or something of equal horror) but you hear yourself and think, WTF? I heard myself saying ‘you sit there and chew mummies toggles’ (on my rain coat, because he loves to, obvs). I’m glad no one was around! #Blogcrush

    1. Haha! Yes it’s so true how things sound so much more normal in context!! I’m already working on a part four of this, so my life is clearly just weird, weird, weird!! Thanks so much for stopping by! #Blogcrush

    1. Haha, thank you!! I know, it’s mostly things that we’ve said to be honest as Baby Lighty is only 21 months, but I just know that it’s going to get weirder still!! #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. Yep me too. Although I’m pretty sure I’ve been saying slightly mad since he was a newborn!! Thanks so much for stopping by! #dreamteam

    1. I’m afraid the secret of the sausage dies with Mrs Lighty. Yet another sentence I never thought I’d say!! Thanks for hosting #DreamTeam as always 🙂

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