Is there a sport more competitive than parenting?! When I was pregnant, I assured myself that I wouldn’t get sucked into the game of comparing my little bundle of joy with other bundles of joy not of my making. But then, of course, we had the most beautifully perfect, brightest bundle of joy in the world! Who wouldn’t want to be competitive with that claim?!
Seriously though, I do recognise that all babies are different, and therefore do things in their own time. Most of the time. As with anything in life, there will always be people that push our buttons. And why is it that parenthood seems to bring out this competitive streak in people?!
Whether it is competitiveness, or whether it’s just unsolicited advice I’m not sure, but it seems that whatever you do as a parent, you can’t do right for doing wrong. So far I have been questioned on:
- What was the point of doing the NHS baby massage class?
- Why am I making the effort to baby wear?
- Why did I breastfeed for so long (1 month – not long at all, in my opinion!)?
- Why did I not breastfeed for longer?!
- Why did I treat myself to a Pink Lining change bag?
- Why am I bothering to think about trying cloth nappies?
- Why do I feel the need to enter so many baby competitions?!
- Why am I paying extra for the special reflux milk?
Seriously, is there anything that I won’t be questioned about?!
Of course, some of the above questions have straightforward answers. I buy the reflux milk because Baby Lighty has reflux and it’s either that or let him suffer, poor thing, and I treated myself to a Pink Lining change bag for the simple reason that they’re bloomin’ gorgeous, just as the namesake of my bag suggests. And the baby competitions are probably just further proof of my competitive nature trying to break free!! But why should any of the above be of anyone’s concern but that of myself and Mr Lighty?!
Entering baby competitions just brings out my competitive nature!
Because of the Mummy Olympics, of course. We all compare ourselves, it’s only natural. And perhaps its when we’re not totally 100% comfortable with our own choices that we question those of others, therefore competing in the Competitive Mummy Sprint and maybe a spot of Long Distance Mummy Judging on the side.
A little spot of baby wearing!
Why don’t we just quit all of the games, however, and instead of competing, encourage? No matter what our choices, we will all be doing the very best for our children. And I bet if we asked them, they’d all give us a gold medal in being their mum, and that’s all that really matters.
Lol, love it. So so true, always questions !!!! ?
It doesn’t matter what you do, you will always be questioned over it, I’ve decided!! 🙂
Beautifully put. Parenting is difficultvenough without feeling judged and questioned by others. As a mum of two teenagers I can sadly say that the comparisons, judging and questioning will be with you for many years. Fortunately you will find that like minded parents tend to gravitate together and the friends you make through parenthood will be a fantastic source of support and inspiration.
Parent how you want. Follow your instincts – I’m so glad I did. My son had a terrible start to school which we had no idea was due to him having ADHD. Without the support of like minded friends I would never have got through.
Parenting is a journey, if you’re not happy with the direction it is going there are so many people who can help. Trust yourself. You are a fabulous parent.
Thanks Sandra! Yes I suspect there will be years and years ahead of this. If there is one thing that parenthood has taught me so far, it’s to try not to judge others; we are all different xxx
Tbh I find it upsetting that motherhood can be so judgey and competitive, which brings out the worst in a lot of people… it’s hard enough without feeling we constantly have eyes on us. It’s good to be able to see the funny side though, fab light hearted post 🙂
Thank you! I’m glad it came across as lighthearted as that was the vein in which it was intended. Although I was quite serious about having been asked those questions, ha!!
Aw this is great! And so true! I’ve always been slightly competitive but I also know that each baby is different so I try to not compare or brag about any little achievement my amazing daughter has done 🙂 I certainly don’t question people’s choices, some of the questions you’ve been asked are actually quite dumb, like of course you should give him reflux milk, and why wouldn’t you baby wear or want a Pink Linings nappy bag! Great post! #brilliantblogposts
Ah thank you! It was meant to be a light hearted take on it all, but it seems that a lot of people can relate to it, which is good! #brilliantblogposts
So refreshing to read and you are doing wonderfully anyone asking questions are probably really questioning there own choices. Beautiful pic of you wearing Dex.
Thanks Sam! You start to question yourself though when others question you!! Xxx
This is so true 🙂 I think you’re right in saying it’s probably because of our own insecurities – but it’s so hard being questioned by others when you’re already questioning yourself! And just to answer some of your questions: the pointbofvthe massage class was, if nothing else, to bond with your baby and develop sensory experiences. You breastfed for “so long” (as long as me) because you wanted to try and give your baby the best start. You “didn’t breastfeed for long enough” (as long as me!) because it’s bloody hard work and your baby has reflux. You are spending more on reflux formula because as someone who has a baby who suffered with reflux, you will do anything to stop your poor baby suffering and help them be more settled. You’re doing a brill job – no one else is mummy to your baby so they simply can’t judge 🙂
Thanks Becky 🙂 I know, it’s completely daft isn’t it, because no matter what we do we will be questioned, it seems!! Thanks for taking the time to read my post 🙂