So the day is finally here, you’ve been here one whole year! Baby Lighty, you’ll never know how much Mr Lighty and I longed for you, fought to get you, how we loved you from the very minute we found out you were on your way. It has been a love that has multiplied millions and millions of times over in the past year since your arrival. And now you are one! One whole year old! Time really does fly when you’re having fun!

I think I can safely speak for both Mr and Mrs Lighty when I say that you have brought a dimension of happiness that we didn’t know existed into our lives, which is why there are certain things that I want you to know, that I want to commit to paper, as you won’t remember this past year as you get older.

Baby Lighty, I want you to know…

I want you to know that your smile brightens my day. I’m so lucky that you’re such a smiley baby! Even when you were a tiny four weeks old, and everyone was telling  me that it was too early for you to be smiling, that it was just wind, I knew deep down that you were smiling for me, your proud Mummy.

I want you to know that I could sit and watch you play for hours. Your little hands and how quickly you’ve learnt to use them fascinate me. I love seeing what toy you’ll reach for next and how you study it, working out how best to use it. What does it do? What shape is it? What colour? I love it when your little hands reach for me too; to play with my hair, to hold my hand, for comfort. No matter how old you get, I’ll always be here to hold your hand.

I want you to know that I love your baby smell. If I could bottle it and wear it as a perfume, I would. I’ve despaired as you’ve got older and that gorgeous smell has got fainter, even though I know that it means you’re becoming your own little person and less of my baby. As you get older I know you’ll call me a weirdo for having done so, but I want you to know that there was often a time when you were sat on my lap and I’d kiss the top of your head just so that I could get a little sniff of your gorgeous baby smell, declaring that you smell ‘delicious’!

I want you to know that the week you were poorly when you were six months old, when we were back and forth to the hospital, was one of the scariest weeks of my life. If I could’ve taken on your illness for you, I would’ve done so. Seeing your personality hide behind how poorly you were feeling was awful, and I was so glad when you were back to your mischievious, cheeky self.

I want you to know that you are just so kissable! I just can’t help myself from planting a little kiss on you every now and again. Ok, more often than every now and again, but if you’re sitting on my lap you’re just too kissable not to kiss!

I want you to know that I love your little quirks. I love that your favourite thing to watch is the weather report, whipping the bottle out of your mouth or stopping playing for a moment just to take it in. I love that when you’re having your breakfast, you like to lean forward in your highchair to look me in the eye and to give me a big smile, finding it hilarious when I say “hello!” as you peep round at me. And I love that you learnt to lift your hands in cheer when Mr and Mrs Lighty say “Yay!” before you learnt to clap. You’re definitely Mrs Lighty’s child with all those quirks!!

I want you to know that I’ve loved seeing the world through your eyes. Your wonder at an animal, a car, a cardboard box, a button, a new toy, a coaster, other children, a piece of foil, yourself in a mirror is beautiful to observe and reminds me to appreciate the little things in life.

I want you to know that you make me laugh every. single. day! And I love you so much for this, for bringing so much joy to my life.

I want you to know that as I cuddled you to sleep last night, stroking your hair, I tried to take in every single detail of your beautiful little face as it is now. Your forever-messy-but-we-love-it-that-way hair, your big blue eyes slowly getting heavy with sleep, your lovely little birthmark below your left eye which I often find myself inadvertently stroking when I’m giving you your bottle. It made me shed a little tear that we managed to make such perfection! And then, even though I’d spent half an hour settling you, you made me laugh by turning over once I’d laid you in your cot when I thought you were asleep, waving at me and saying “hiya!”!

I want you to know that this is by far the steepest learning curve I’ve ever been on. That I’m sorry for the times when I didn’t quite get it right, but that I was trying my best, always, and I always will.

I want you to know that I cried writing this post. I cried – happy tears – because I still can’t believe that we got you, that we got this lucky, that we got this far, and that you’re ours. I cried because sometimes I just look at you and I love you so much it hurts. And I cried because my baby is one! One! No longer, really, my little baby, but my baby all the same.

I want you to know that I will always, always love you. No matter what. And I want you to know that no matter how big you get, and how many birthdays you celebrate, you will always be my beautiful baby boy.

Happy First Birthday, Baby Lighty!

With all our love today and always, Mummy and Daddy xxx

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