“You’re Cooking Mr Elf a BBQ?!” and Other Ridiculously Christmassy Things I Never Thought I’d Say!

Just when you thought parenting couldn’t get any more ridiculous, you find yourself trying to explain Christmas to a two and a half year old. Parenting, and the things we find ourselves saying to our little ones, is weird and wonderful at the best of times, but throw in Elf on the Shelf, bringing a tree indoors and covering it with twinkly things and lights that your toddler MUST NOT TOUCH, taking them to see a big man in red who’s going to slide down their chimney in a few weeks’ time and leave presents, giving them one tiny piece of chocolate at breakfast each day and explaining to them that this is all because we’re celebrating the birth of a baby born thousands of years ago well…it’s just got a whole lot weirder, right?!

And so it is, that I’ve found myself coming out with even more of my ridiculous sayings in the past few weeks. And I’m sure I’ll be adding to this post over the years. Because when it comes to parenting and Christmas, the things we say really don’t get much more ridiculous than this:

  • “You’re cooking Mr Elf a BBQ? That’s kind!”
  • “Christmas likes turkeys? Yes but turkeys don’t like Christmas…”
  • “Snow in a bowl?!”
  • “Come and sit up here and talk to the Christmas tree!”
  • “Don’t call him Jesus, he’ll think it’s his birthday at Christmas too!”
  • “What present do you think Daddy would like for Christmas? A box of sweets and a cucumber?! Really?!”
  • “Do you think he was singing ‘Here come the Reindeer’ when he fell asleep?!”
  • “No we’re not going to see Father Christmas, it’s 10 o’clock on a Tuesday morning!”
  • “I think we’ve scarred him for life by telling him that Father Christmas comes down the chimney…”

  • “Today the part of James is being played by Mr Elf, and the part of Millie is being played by the gingerbread man!”
  • “Are you going to build a snowman? Oh you’re going to build a snowpig?! And a snowsheep?! A snowdonkey?! Well I’ve never seen a snowcamel before…”
  • “No you can’t wake Baby Jesus up!”
  • “We don’t wear flipflops when we’re going to do Christmas things!”
  • “Snow in a boat!”
  • “Oh dear, not reindeer!”
  • “You need to talk to the snowman about his balls?!”

Well, what more can I say?! Whatever I do say in the next week or so is bound to be both ridiculous and Christmassy! So, maybe I’ll just put another hot dog on the barbie for Mr Elf and sign off with ho, ho, ho?!

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17 thoughts on ““You’re Cooking Mr Elf a BBQ?!” and Other Ridiculously Christmassy Things I Never Thought I’d Say!”

  1. My daughter is 2 1/2 too, and explaining Christmas has been…interesting. We haven’t gotten into the whole Jesus’ birthday side yet, but we did tell her that Santa is going to come into the house while she’s sleeping and bring her presents. She seems both excited and a little freaked out by this concept. #dreamteam

  2. Hehehe yes Christmas is a strange thing when you look at it from that point of view! This year, my 3yo is just getting the hang of Christmas but I’m not sure she’s worked out the present bit yet – she just keeps pointing at Christmas lights and saying that is Christmas! Could be a cheap year for us ;-p hahaha #dreamteam

  3. Haha! It does all sound rather surreal when you list it all like that! I’m not sure my just turned 3 year old has a clue what is going on…but the older ones are desperate to rip their presents open! #dreamteam

  4. I’ve never seen a snowcamel either. ? Please tell me that Santa is going to bring Mr Lighty a box of sweets and a cucumber!? That would be a brilliant stocking hehe. You know I’m a huge fan of this series and the festive version is the marzipan on the Christmas cake! Merry Christmas lovely xx #DreamTeam

  5. I love the bit about flip flops. In Hawai’i we call them slippers and we definitely wear them at Christmas time, so our parents would sound a little bit different. I wish I could hear the backstory on some of these phrases, I can only imagine the scenarios you’ve found yourself in with Littles running around! #DreamTeam

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