Last weekend, Mr Lighty and I took Baby Lighty on a family day out to the National Trust properties Chartwell and Quebec House. We had a really lovely day, just the three of us, but it wasn’t without the odd mishap, as is the case with most things associated with new parenthood.
To start with, we’d timed our arrival with Baby Lighty’s lunchtime feed. This should be a fairly straightforward procedure, now that Baby Lighty is 12 weeks old and has started to fall into his own little routine, except for one aspect: reflux milk. The special reflux formula that Baby Lighty is on needs to stand for 7 minutes (very precise!) after being mixed in order for it to thicken up, so there is always an element of pre-empting when he will need his next feed. Either that, or we have a screaming Baby Lighty situation!
So our day started off with a trip to the café so that we could all have lunch, Mr Lighty spilling our milk for our cuppas all over the table, us not mixing Baby Lighty’s milk quickly enough, him then proceeding to scream the tea room down, us wishing the 7 minutes away as quickly as possible, and probably giving his bottle to him a little too quickly and with only a very brief discussion and decision as to whether the milk was still too hot to drink. Very bad parents!
Eventually we work through our flustered state to feed Baby Lighty!
All of this did get me thinking about whether people’s tolerance levels of babies is higher than that of older children, however. We are very lucky that Baby Lighty is generally a very placid, happy baby, and on the whole we try to respond as quickly as possible to his cues when we know that he isn’t happy. Sometimes this has meant removing ourselves from situations entirely, both to calm Baby Lighty and to spare everyone else around us from his crying. However, this wasn’t really a possibility at the weekend as we’d just ordered our own lunch, and we were very aware of all the other poor souls in the café trying to have a peaceful lunch themselves whilst our child told everyone rather loudly that he very much wanted his own lunch, thank you!
This is why I think I’m so surprised by just how tolerant everyone seems to be of young babies. Yes you do get the odd irritated look – especially on public transport – and even a comment from time to time, but most people just give you a sympathetically knowing look. Perhaps they too were parents to young, screaming, hungry children once, or perhaps it’s just tolerance of a new, cute baby.
Either way, I’m always eternally grateful for these kind glances and shy smiles. It does help that Baby Lighty is such a lovely, smiley baby (even if I am biased!), but every time I smile and apologise as yet again we’re taking up more space than we should with the buggy, or getting in someone’s way, or making too much noise, and the person I’m talking to responds with their own smile and a “it’s not a problem!”, it really does lift my spirits as a new mum.
Babies will be babies, and they will make noise, so next time you see someone knock over their own milk in a cafe, try to quiet their crying baby, whilst trying to be the best parent they can be and getting themselves into a frazzle in the process, please remember that for both you and the new parent, there really is no point in crying over spilt formula milk. Let’s all offer that shy smile and some kind words instead.
A happier Baby Lighty checking out the bookshop!
Lovely photos! There’s a lot of worries as first time parents, isn’t it? I remembered we used to panic every time my little boy cried in the supermarket, it doesn’t help when people stared at you though. #TwinklyTuesday
No it doesn’t! Mr Lighty is more worried about it than I am. I’m sure the noise will be worse when he’s a toddler though! Thanks for reading! #TwinklyTuesdays
I find other people very supportive of a screaming baby – I’m quite lucky that we’ve only had one meltdown in public (when I crashed his buggy into a till, bad mummy!!), but I didn’t have any snidey looks or comments. I’ve always tried to give supportive smiles when I see a mummy struggling. p.s love the photo of baby L and daddy looking at books, they look so alike!
I’m really surprised by how tolerate people are, I really thought I’d be getting dirty looks left, right & centre, but perhaps people realise that babies just want a cry sometimes!! Thanks re: the photo, I think he’s looking more & more like Daddy every day 🙂
I also appreciate when people are patient with us and a screaming baby. I think babies are given more patience because they can’t help it, but older kids are perceived as being able to learn better behavior. Wow I can see how waiting 7 minutes before being able to feed can become very frustrating fast. Sometimes my baby couldn’t even handle the time it took to just mix and serve before the screaming theatrics started (and he certainly wasn’t patient enough to wait for my milk to let down, which is probably why I have supply issues and supplemented anyway).
When I was breastfeeding he cluster fed constantly. The midwife didn’t believe me when I told her he’d fed that morning from 4am til 12 noon, yet still wasn’t putting on weight, which was why I was told to stop. So yes 7 minutes can feel like a lifetime to him, ha!! I’m normally quite good at preempting when he’ll want a feed but sometimes when we’re out he’ll go from distracted by what he’s looking at to screaming hungry diva in a matter of about 30 seconds!! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment 🙂
Baby Lighty is super cute! You did well to stay calm – I’ve actually cried over spilt formula milk in my own kitchen! Let alone at a cafe x
Thank you! 🙂 We were laughing after the event as it was all a bit chaotic! My hubby spilt our milk for our tea, then we couldn’t get the formula mixed quickly enough for the baby’s liking, then we have it to him and I realised we hadn’t tested the temperature…!! Got there in the end though! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment 🙂
I think there is a natural thing that babies screaming is a very grating noise – it is specifically designed to be that way so that it won’t be ignored. So I think babies crying is the one that actually causes everyone around to be more distracted & feel more stress. BUT I think most people consciously try to ignore that instinctive feeling because they appreciate that babies often cry and people making a fuss does not help. So I think that, as long as the parent is not actually ignoring the baby and is trying to soothe it, most people are pretty tolerant over young babies. Older children misbehaving or running about etc, is actually a less overbearing annoyance, but a lot of people feel that the parents SHOULD be able to stop that, so I think people are more likely to get annoyed. Personally, I think the really difficult one is actually the toddlers. Toddlers are quite likely to go in for the screaming and crying that is so distracting to everyone, and actually it is often not possible to stop them whatever you do, but people are less accepting of that than they are of babies! #brilliantblogposts
Yes you have a good point. Obviously we are yet to reach the toddler point so you’ll have to watch this space to see how well we get on with that!! ;D #brilliantblogposts
You’d have to be made of stone to get annoyed at such a little cutie.
#brilliantblogposts
Ah thank you! It’s normally on the bus where we get the worst looks! #brilliantblogposts
Lovely photos, he really is cute! People seem forgiving of babies, but less so of toddlers or older ones. It’s like they’ve had a brain wipe and forgotten that all children make noise every so often. Including their own and them once. #brilliantblogposts
Thank you! When we get to toddler stage I’ll probably be writing another post about how unforgiving people are of toddlers, ha!! 😀 #brilliantblogposts
Lovely photos and I think you handled it all very well and took it in your stride!
#brilliantblogposts
Thank you! I try to think that the calmer you stay, the calmer the baby stays, but I also appreciate that we’re all human and it isn’t always possible!! #brilliantblogposts
I’ve done that mixing the reflux formula routine (I did paediatric nursing, looked after a lot of refluxy babies in my time) it’s such a pain to get the timing right isn’t it? I have to say, other people’s kids making noise rarely bothers me, I’m used to babies and children, I tune it out. Babies cry, they can’t help that. My own kids crying used to stress me more! Popped over from TWTW
It’s definitely more stressful when it’s your own!! It’s not just the timing of mixing the milk we find, but also getting the temperature of the water right, as if it’s too hot it just goes lumpy!! So much to think about! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog 🙂
Your baby is adorable, I remember those times well, in fact they get nosier as they get older. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x
Thank you! I can imagine it just gets noisier and noisier…he’s a very good baby, so he’s bound to hit the terrible twos with a vengeance too!! Thanks for taking the time to read the post 🙂 #brilliantblogposts
It’s so true — I remember days when we were out with the twins when they were very small and — generally — people are very kind and accommodating. You occasionally get the odd one that isn’t so kind, don’t you, but happily they’re few and far between! Thanks so much for linking up with us — hope to see you next time 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
Thanks for taking the time to read the post! Yes most people are lovely, fortunately! #TwinklyTuesdays
I feel really aware of what others think and its so hard when you have a small baby crying and you feel concious of others, its always nice to see that someone is showing a sympathetic smile x
Definitely! Don’t get me wrong, we do worry about what people think but on the whole people have been lovely. Let’s hope that continues into toddlerhood!! ;D Thanks for taking the time to read the post 🙂
I agree, I think a lot of people are very tolerant of babies. I am more self-conscious now, when my toddler is having a public meltdown, than I ever was when she was a screaming newborn. I think because there’s a lot more ‘performance’ these days so there’s more for people to look at. (Joy!)
I remember when I went to baby massage class and FORGOT my daughter’s bottle. She was screaming for a feed and I had to text hubby to get him to deliver some milk to where we were. That was a ‘ground, please swallow me up situation’. #TWTWC
Haha!! Don’t, that’s my worst nightmare forgetting the milk!! I always have to check & double check that I’ve got his bottles, and even then I keep a bottle of emergency (admittedly non-reflux) ready made in my change bag!! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, really appreciate it 🙂 #TWTWC
Ah baby wearing is such a lovely term, I used to baby wear and just loved the closeness x
It is lovely when you get it right! Thanks for taking the time to read my post 🙂