I recently wrote about the funny little quirks that form Baby Lighty’s language on a daily basis. Of course, this got me thinking about the next instalment in my ‘Ridiculous Things I Never Thought I’d Say” series. The series started just over a year ago, and I thought all of these little ridiculous phrases that I seem to find myself saying as a parent would fizzle out over time. But the fact that we’re now on instalment four of the ridiculous sentences I never thought I’d say should probably tell me that this part of parenting is here to stay!

All of this of course means that I’ve wasted a ridiculous amount of time spent some constructive time over the past few months compiling these beauties of things I never thought I’d say:

• “Hi, Rockstar!”
• “Oh we didn’t get the fence out of the guitar!”
• “Oh he’s going to be a chef! Look at how he’s presented that! Two sausages and a chip in an espresso cup!”
• “A little naked person just splattered against the door!”
• “Hello…Is it me you’re looking for? I’ll take that as a no then!”
• “His bum kept playing tunes on the piano!”
• “We don’t draw on the eggs!”
• “Don’t tip them over Mummy’s head please!”
• “This is the Lego version of the Life of Pi.”

A Lego version of the Life of Pi!

• “You know you’re getting old when you can recognise that a bucket on Justin’s House is from B&Q!”
• “I looked over at you this morning and thought, ‘Is that a kangaroo tail of are you just pleased to see me?!'”
• “I nearly woke him up at one o’clock in the morning by standing on the piano.”
• “Hello, is this Nanny calling on the spoon phone?”
• “That must be heavy, with an elephant on your head!”
• “He just used me as a human ramp to get onto the sofa, and I didn’t even notice!”
• “He’s put that biscuit on your lap and he’s sitting on it!”
• “It’s like one of those organic subscription boxes!”

The plastic organic subscription box…

• “Come and sit here and eat sticks.”
• “Peas? Do you mean Chip and Dale?!”
• “You clean the Octopus’ bottom and I’ll clean your teeth.”
• “Daddy’s a burger?!”
• “Oh look at him on his shoe phone!”
• “Are you flattening me?!”
• “That’s really good sharing, but we don’t share with flies…”
• “Oh no, the Rockstar’s naked!”

So, what do we think?! Some important parenting lessons in here, surely. You know, cleaning the bottom of sealife and not sharing with flies…perhaps my communication with my little small person hasn’t become as ridiculous as I first thought?! Happy naked rock starring, Baby Lighty; I’ll see you all back here for another instalment shortly!

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