When I published part one of this post, “Don’t get annoyed if you’ve put a bunny on your head!” and other ridiculous sentences I never thought I’d say, many of you lovely lot commented with some of the ridiculous things you’d recently said to your little ones. In fact, I had so many people comment to say that they could relate to my apparent madness, that I started to collate a part two there and then.

And here it is! I’ve noticed that a lot of my strange conversations with Baby Lighty seem to be food related, which pretty much sums up the Lightys as a whole, but reading back through them I’ve realised that some are just completely and utterly downright weird!

So here goes, sharing with you again my weird and wonderful, yet strangely normal, every day sentences now that Baby Lighty is in the world:

• “Don’t eat Mummy’s toes!”
• “Is this man some sort of onion, or a fennel bulb…?”
• “The other day he combed my hair with a plastic carrot.”
• “Did you just put yoghurt on my bum?!”
• “Why are you speaking into your shoe?!”
• “Someone decided to clean my CD with their t-shirt.”
• “Please don’t eat them by Daddy’s foot!”
• “No, you can’t dig Mummy…”
• “He just threw his pink teapot on the floor and started crying!”
• “Did you just poke me with a chip?!”
• “Oh sorry, I just flung a bee at you!”
• “This is what you’d look like with a ginger beard.”
• “Daddy’s gherkin is under the table!”
• “Little Boy’s enjoying watching the horses in the dressage and saying ‘doggy’!”
• “Shut up Daddy and have a tiger!”
• “Did you break the police car?!”
• “We’ll go home and he’ll insist on eating all of his food on a tiny windmill!”

The food on the tiny windmill!

• “Look at your hair…you look like Boris Johnson!”
• “I think he thinks you open the packet up and there’s a ready made enchilada in there…”
• “This morning he was stirring his plastic gherkin inside that turtle with a whisk, whilst balancing on a cardboard box!”
• “That’s one random shopping list you’ve got there…a melon slice, a hot dog, a fried egg, a Lego brick, a cup, a star, a tin of beans, Iggle Piggle and a teddy!”
• “Can you rescue me from the rampaging highchair please?!”
• “Ouch! What was that?! Was it your head or the onion?!”
• “We nearly had pesto up the wall because I tripped over the policeman!”
• “You’ve got a crocodile stuck to your foot.”
• “Anyone would think Father Christmas was coming in August: there’s a plastic carrot, a breadstick and some milk on this table!”
• “Don’t eat your shoe! Do not eat your shoe! Put your shoe down!”
• “Ah come and give me a cuddle! …Or just bash your head against my leg.”
• “All of these toys and you’d still rather play with two enchilada spice packets…”
• “The shopping trolley does not sit on the sofa.”
• “I swear I’m going to lose my teeth because of this child!”
• “Is there a reason your shoe is on the telly?!”
• “Excuse me, but are you sniffing my hand?!”
• “Mummy’s toes are not for eating!”

And to finish, a truly spectacular sentence:

“I think the white-haired potato is Empress Sisi.”

Now THAT really is a sentence I never thought I’d say!!

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